"In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
And these I stole from Roger @ "there's always something." check out his blog by clicking on the title above.
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
“The security of the civilized world depends on victory in the war on terror, and that depends on victory in Iraq.” George W. Bush in an American Legion speech this week.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
5 comments:
I've seen these before, and they are such a hoot. Actually, most of them are really sad...that they'd really come out of someone's mouth...and someone in the public eye at that.
I suspect all of us - at times - wish for an editor who will smooth away our errors before they become public :)
Thanks for the laugh
Quite an eclectic array of goofs. I'm sure glad I'm not in the public arena like most of them are !!
(I wonder if Dan Q. and GWB had the same teacher somewhere along the way)
Thanks. A person can always use a few endorphins before turning in for the night.
Enjoyed the laughs -- can ever have enough.
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