July 20, 2006
"Watch your back, Nelly Furtado. An 82-year-old US senator from Alaska is looking for a cut of your dance - floor action this summer -- and his secret weapon is tubes, a series of tubes.
During a Senate Commerce Committee debate on June 28, Senator Ted Stevens described the inner workings of the Internet as ``a series of tubes." To help mouthy tadpoles such as the Google guys understand how the Internet tubes work, Stevens went on to explain that ``those tubes can be filled. And if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."
The snickering began almost immediately, made worse by another Stevens gaffe: ``An Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday; I just got it yesterday . . . because it got tangled up." Those blasted, tangly tubes."
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and then this from
From Blaugh.com
"To better demonstrate the theory of how information travels online, Senator Ted Stevens has teamed up with research scientists from Helsinki to develop a series of InterTubes - the world’s first Internet data floatation devices.
When submerged in ethernet liquid, InterTubes will carry passengers safely across any type of digital divide. Stevens is quite proud of his invention, claiming that they took “enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material” to complete. With this new system, the young Senator hopes that your personal internets will no longer be delayed.
Stevens also claims that his InterTubes will be delivered on “big trucks” in time for the 2006 holiday shopping season. Net profits are projected to be in the gigabit range - should analysts remain neutral.
Next up for the Stevens development team: an Internet Cerfboard."
Source: TedStevensInterTubes.com
Domain: InternetTubeTruck.com
8 comments:
Cerfboards? Oh yes!! I want one. Do you remember Bennett Cerf on "What's my Line?" What a wit!
Great post Chancy. I love that you're old like me....:)
I've got to get me some of those InterTubes. :-)
I get so upset that we continue to find the braindead and elect them to office!!
Please tell me this is a joke and that we don't pay this man a whopping salary!
Hi Chancy....I'm with Tabor, upset and disillusioned.....
I saw that Senator Stevens had a blog! I guess he has someone to blog for him. I listened to his performance here
And part of the text of his speech is on
Wikipedia
It's frightening to think how bad this guy makes us elders look!
You don't know whether to laugh or cry
Well, now we know why everything is so tangled up in Congress -- it's probably because all those Internets "got tangled up" in "Those blasted, tangly tubes."
I'll tell you one thing, I sure don't want my Internets having to "get in line" and being delayed behind "anyone putting into that tube enormous amounts of material."
Thanks to Blaugh.com and you, Chancy, we'll have a chance to get all our tubes in order should this issue come up again. Do we get to choose what color tubes we want to use? Just asking!
Oh lucy ... yes, yes, I remember Bennett Cerf ... have a book full of his laugh lines ... funny man!
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