Food for thought ?

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax


Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.


Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.


Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.


Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.



A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.


Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.


Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.


Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.


Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says"If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".


Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess"on it...so I said "Implants?"


Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?


Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.



Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.


Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.


Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.


Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.


Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.


Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.


Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.


Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.


Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.


Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.


Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

=

Insomnia ?

Last night I had a sleeping problem. I read for about an hour. Turned out the light at 11:30 PM was still awake at 12:30. I said "to heck with it" I will just read until I drop off to sleep. I did and my book fell out of my hands about 2PM. Had restless, unpleasant dreams until about 7AM.

I know, I know. The book I was reading, a Swedish murder mystery. "Sidetracked" by Henning Mankell is too stimulating. One of the best mysteries I have ever read.

"Mankell's third Detective Kurt Wallander mystery revolves around the veteran Swedish inspector's search for a savage serial killer who scalps his victims after delivering a fatal hatchet blow"

" Winner of Sweden's 1997 Best Crime Novel of the Year, this is another terrific offering from the talented Mankell"

This book is not nearly as gruesome as it sounds. Much of it is told from the police point of view as they race to stop the killer.

OK I know. Not exactly bedtime, relaxing reading but I am hooked and can't wait to finish this book and get the next Kurt Wallander mystery.


Oh well. I am still functioning today.

Please forgive me Buddy

The first photo of Buddy, the one with the yellow ribbon in his hair, Okay I know in that picture he looks like "Buddy Lou" :) My 9 year old granddaughter is responsible for the ribbon. She did it. We laughed and said he looked like a "Buddy Lou" and not our Buddy

The majestic pose in the beige doggie bed is too cute. Right? We were at Cosco one day and lo and behold there were the big dog beds for only $20.00. What a bargain!

Mr C said " Buddy will chew that bed up when we get it in the door. We bought it anyway. I worked with Buddy and so far he has only reclined in the bed and no chewing. (fingers still crossed as he is a chewer)

Enjoy the photos. :)

Here's Buddy

Hi All

I need to post a new photo of Buddy. I will soon.

He is 13 months old now and a grown boy. He is such a comfort and a sweet companion for us. Especially for me.

He knows many words and follows me around the house. When I say "Upstairs" he bounds up the stairs and helps me load the washer and dryer.

He and I like watching "The Dog Whisperer" in the afternoons. His second favorite TV show is "Curious George" George is a brown and white monkey but Buddy thinks he is a dog.:)

He is of course fully potty trained and he loves to play ball. He doesn't quite get the concept of "fetch" He wants me to throw and fetch. :)He runs to get the ball but then wants to keep it.

The almost year long training process,sometimes hectic, has been worth it.

He is a treasure.

Have a Happy and Safe Labor Day.

The old Bible

(I was browsing at our branch library's monthly book sale and an old Bible caught my eye. As I thumbed through it I came across photographs inside and wondered what stories this old book held.)





"The old Holy Bible lay in the bin marked religious at the library book sale. Abandoned. Black, soft sided, worn, well used and soiled. Inside was a small faded photograph. A snapshot, of an elderly white haired couple, evidently man and wife standing behind a table that was covered with a white lace tablecloth. She was holding a silver cake knife above a large white frosted cake. His hand was on hers lightly posed as if gently guiding the process. Her light pink polyester dress was graced with a white carnation corsage, Glasses on them both.Her head was covered with "just out of the beauty parlor grey ringlet curls. His light beige suit was topped off with a white shirt and blue patterned tie.

Smile, the person behind the camera had told them. Pretend it is 50 years ago when you two were youngsters and getting married. Smiling wanly the old couple realized how tired they were of all the folderol Opening the presents. etc . Her feet hurt. his eyes were stinging from the glare in the church hall windows.Who were all these people her daughters had invited in to celebrate the occasion. Distant cousins from Smyrna,Tennessee. Old relatives from South Georgia. Who are all these old people? If we know any of them I don't remember. My how they all have aged.

She grabed hold of Hiram's hand and whispered in his ear. "I love you sweetheart but it's time to go"

----------------- .

Oh my heavens. She spilled coffee on her Bible making an awful mess. Her hands are unsteady. She grabbed a box of Kleenex and started wiping up the wetness but the brown stain had seeped into the opening pages and along the sides. What kind of bad luck is that. Staining a Holy Book, even if by accident.

Suddenly she remembered the photographs and quickly flipped the pages to 1st Samuel. No, the coffee had not made it that far. No damage to their 50th anniversary picture either. Or the small 6th grade photo of grandson Jesse. That's a blessing in itself. She used the photos as bookmarks in her bible. A comfort to keep her loved ones close by.

These days the smallest blessings mean a lot. Living alone and isolated on the old farm seems to get harder and harder to take the older she gets. Her only companions are Junior the old yellow lab mix and Kitty the tabby cat . Animals are a comfort when the nights are cold and the wind whistles down the chimney causing the flames to flicker in the fireplace.

Staring into the yellow and blue flames she can almost see him looking back at her. Telling her not to worry. Everything will be all right. Hiram never meant to go first and leave her all alone but his heart just gave out that hot day in the fields when he overdid it. She had told him to watch out for heat exhaustion. He felt he was strong as an ox, even at 70 years old. But the blazing sun and his weak heart took him from her that long ago July day.

Now she feels like a half a pair of sissors. The rest of her went missing with him. They were so close. A team. After so many years of togetherness the void is unbearable.

But she remembers what the minister said at the funeral service. " Part of being a "good wife" is being a "good widow" If fate calls upon you to bear this sorrow then honor his name by remembering the good times and carrying on with grace and dignity the best you know how."

Sighing she arises slowly from the creaking old rocking chair. She says aloud.

"Time for bed now.
Goodnight dearest.
Goodnight Hiram."

(By Chancy)

What I Am Reading.

What I am reading now.

I just started the novel "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton who also wrote "The House At Riverton," her first novel.

I picked up this book at our library's "bag of books" sale. For $6.00 I can buy all the books I can stuff into a plastic grocery bag. By doing this I get some winners and some losers.

"The Forgotten Garden" is definitely a WINNER.

FROM AMAZON;

"A four-year-old girl waits alone on a dock in Australia for parents who never come. Her only possession? A tiny white suitcase containing no information about who she is or how she came to be abandoned.

Nell is a foundling, and what a rare foundling she is. A stow-away on an ocean liner, she refuses to tell even so much as her name. Until in her 60s, over-protected by a loving foster father, she has no clue how she came to be alone on that dock. Hers is the mystery that unfolds in this long novel spanning more than a century, five generations, and two distant continents"

I started reading this book and got a good head start during my prep for the colonoscopy that I had yesterday. I won't go into details about the prep but I will just say I spent 4 hours on the john and tried to read most of the time. The procedure went fine and nothing new to report. If you have ever had this colonoscopy you know the prep is worse than the procedure.

OK. Back to the "The Forgotten Garden" it IS long. about 500 pages. but interesting. One of the clues to young Nell's real heritage is a book of illustrated fairy tales that is in the little white suitcase;the only belonging 4 year old Nell has with her when she is found abandoned on a wharf in Australia after a long ocean voyage.

After Nell dies as an old lady, Nell's granddaughter Cassandra, whom Nell had raised, attempts to discover Nell's secret which leads Cassandra from Australia to Cornwall in England. And a forgotten garden.

A slow, gentle book that skips around from person to person and decade to decade. If you want a leisurely summer read, try this,

OUCH !!!

6-Foot-Tall Giraffe Born At Zoo Atlanta


Zoo Atlanta
ATLANTA -- Zoo Atlanta is celebrating the birth of a 6-foot-tall newborn giraffe.

The giraffe was born Tuesday and weighed between 100 and 150 pounds.

“We are extremely excited about the birth of the calf,” said Zoo Atlanta President and CEO Raymond King. “Giraffes have long been a very popular and charismatic part of the collection,” King said in a statement.

This marks the first time that Glenda, the giraffe’s 3-year-old mother, has given birth. Glenda was born in October 2006 at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Glenda and her half-sister, Mona, 4, arrived at Zoo Atlanta in 2007. They share their habitat with the calf’s father, 4-year-old Abu.

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/24249277/detail.html

A Tale of Two Doggies

Buddy has a house guest this week and next. His cousin, a 5 year old Havanese, is visiting while our daughter and her family are away on vacation. Her name is Bella and she is a sweetheart. Quiet and well mannered. It is good for Buddy to have canine companionship because he has begun to think he is a "PERSON"

Buddy has previously gotten picky about eating his kibble. He thinks if he waits long enough he just may get some "people food" He spends most of his day in our kitchen den combined and smells everything we cook and eat. Some days he has gone all day without touching his food. We have been pretty good about not giving him bites of our food.

Bella arrived. She is fed once a day in the morning in her crate. If she does not eat it all in 30 minutes we must take it up until the following day. Therefore she is very hungry and gobbles up HER food. The first day we fed Bella we let Buddy watch her eat. Good example. We fed Buddy and he ate all his kibble in a hurry! What an incentive seeing another animal eat up the food!!

I wonder what else Bella will teach Buddy while she is visiting.

"The Imperfectionists"

What I'm reading:

"The Imperfectionists." By Tom Rachman

I read the review in the Sunday New York Times book review section and thought this book sounded interesting. I immediately requested it at my branch library and got it in just about a week. I have learned to jump when I read a review of a book I think I might like. To beat the rush at the library.

The Imperfectionists is a small book. Easy to read. It is about the characters who make up a small English language newspaper in Rome, Italy.
Chapters read like short stories. About the intertwined lives of the men and women who produce the newspaper.

Tom Rachman on "The Imperfectionists" (from Amazon.com)

"To my amazement, a book emerged. I remain nearly incredulous that my plan, hatched over a decade ago, came together. At times, I walk to the bookshelf at my home in Italy, take down a copy of The Imperfectionists, double-check the name on the spine: Tom Rachman. Yes, I think that's me.

In the end, my travels included neither bullfights nor duels. And the book doesn't, either. Instead, it contains views over Paris, cocktails in Rome, street markets in Cairo; the ruckus of an old-style newsroom and the shuddering rise of technology; a foreign correspondent faking a news story, a media executive falling for the man she just fired. And did I mention a rather adorable if slobbery dog?"

Read this book You may like it.

Ah youth!

Do you remember your first pair of blue jeans?

I do.

I was 16 years old and a senior in high school. Of course back then girls were not allowed to wear pants of any kind to school. In fact women and girls simply did NOT wear pants. Shorts perhaps in the summertime but never to school work or down town. Dresses or skirts were the correct apparel.

Levi Strauss had begun making "ladies jeans" in 1934 for western wear but they had not yet arrived in the sleepy college town of Athens, Georgia.

When the jeans fad hit, my two girlfriends and I went downtown to a department store ( this was before the advent of malls) and bought boys jeans and rolled up the legs to the desired length. We thought we were hot stuff and a bit racy.

These jeans lasted forever, thru many,many washings.

Now I live in pants. Dress and casual. However jeans are not in my wardrobe anymore. As a woman of a certain age and SIZE, sad to say, I have "outgrown" jeans.

Ah youth!

I bet if I still had those jeans they would be worth a small fortune as antique denim has become a collectors item.

Suck It Up

SUCK IT UP:

Ronni Bennett of the blog "Time Goes By" is finishing the difficult job of packing up her apartment. She is moving to Portland Oregon next week. As in all things "Ronni" she is extremely organized and up to the task.

One possible hitch she has anticipated is the reaction of her Savannah Cat "Ollie" to the disruption of moving once again after just 4 years in Portland, Maine.

Ronni and Ollie will fly out to Oregon and Ronni has expressed reservations about how Ollie will cope with the flight and general interruption of his life.

Ronni said after thinking over what Ollie's reaction might be:

"Ollie will just have to SUCK IT UP"


Isn't that funny. And you can't herd a cat. :)

One reader suggested that Ronnie might want to "butter Ollie's paws" before the flight. Isn't that cute. And think about the phrase "Butter him up" I guess it means literally to "smear butter on a person" but no one does that actually. We just "sweet talk" someone to bring him around to our view.

Butter on Ollie's paws might just work after all. He can spend the entire flight licking it off

Hold the presses.

In the Sunday Book Review of the New York Times, Bill Keller, the executive editor of the New York Times, reviewed the biography, "Publisher." The life and times of Henry Luce who founded Time magazine. Look, and Life magazines during the 1940's and 50's.

Keller writes:

"Whatever else you think of Luce, he never dived down-market. Whenever his publications flagged, Luce insisted that the way to invigorate them was to make them better, not dumber, more populist, more sensational or more cynical."

It seems to me that much of today's media, magazines, newspapers and cable TV stations subscribe to the dumber and more sensational point of view. The public thereby is less informed and looses out on enlightened discussion.

One paragraph in particular struck a chord with me in Keller's review,

"But it is probably fair to say that the cacophony of today’s media — in which rumor and invective often outpace truth-testing, in which shouting heads drown out sober reflection, in which it is possible for people to feel fully informed without ever encountering an opinion that contradicts their prejudices — plays some role in the polarizing of our politics, the dysfunction of our political system and the increased cynicism of the American electorate."

There IS a God

Hooray.. In fact Hip Hip Hooray.

Tiger did not win the Masters

Phil Mickelson Won !

Hooray for Phil.

Phil M has been off the tour. Not because of a bimbo erruption. HIs wife and mother have just completed treatment at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Texas. Both for breast cancer. His wife was recuperating in Augusta, Ga. In bed until the last day when she felt well enough to watch her husband come onto number 18 and win the Masters.

Congratulations Phil and family.

The Masters

Masters Week


Some years back before my hubby retired we were privileged to attend the Masters each year. This was because the business he was affiliated with did work for Augusta National and the club provided him with clubhouse passes with access to all the tournament events

What a grand time this was. We drove into Augusta National up the driveway known as "Magnolia Lane". A sense of history enveloped us on those beautiful April mornings.

We were invited into the antebellum house that served as the clubhouse and onto the patio and lawn outside which overlooked the magnificent green course. Some mornings we had a full southern breakfast in the dining room at the clubhouse. And several times we had dinner there too. We enjoyed drinks while relaxing at tables underneath magnificant old oak trees.

We walked the course with the crowds of avid golf fans. The stillness and quiet while one of the players was teeing off and especially as they putted was silent as a pin dropping.

It is said that nowhere on earth do golf fans behave in such a genteel manner as at the Masters. Tickets are ao hard to come by no one wants to take a chance of losing their tickets permanently by misbehaving. Tickets are in such demand that the waiting list has been closed for decades.


"'The main driveway leading from Washington Road to the course's clubhouse. The lane is flanked on either side by 61 magnolia trees, each grown from seeds planted by the Berckmans family in the 1850s. Magnolia Lane is 330 yards (300 m) long and was paved in 1947."

The Big Oak Tree"
"The big oak tree" is on the golf course side of the clubhouse and is approximately 150-160 years old. The tree was planted in the 1850s

"Augusta National is regarded as one of the most revered golf courses on the PGA Tour. Since the Masters is held at the same venue every year, patrons have the unique opportunity to become familiar with the course, something the other three rotating majors do not afford. The club itself invites a select few members to join each year, but it is not possible to request a membership directly.

The course is well known for its botanic beauty, being lined with stunning azaleas and hundred year old trees. As the Masters is held on the first weekend following the first full week in April, the trees and shrubs bordering the course are always in full bloom during the tournament. Each hole on the course is named after the tree or shrub with which it has become associated:

Hole # Name Par Yards Meters
1 Tea Olive 4 455 416
2 Pink Dogwood 5 575 526
3 Flowering Peach 4 350 320
4 Flowering Crab Apple 3 240 219
5 Magnolia 4 455 416
6 Juniper 3 180 165
7 Pampas 4 450 411
8 Yellow Jasmine 5 570 521
9 Carolina Cherry "

Oh No

Did you see the movie "The Blind Side"

Sandra Bullock won the best actress award for her role as the young southern mother in this film.I loved her in this movie.

"The story of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family."

Now just a few weeks after winning the Oscar, Sandra's world is falling apart and she has moved out of the home she shared with her husband, Jesse James. One of his former mistresses, the one with the head to toe tattoos and the blimp sized implants is claiming Jesse is carrying on with her. Sandra is mad as a wet hen. She even canceled her scheduled appearance at the London premier of "The Blind Side"

What a jerk Jesse James is.
Why did Sandra Bullock ever marry him?

House guest dog and cat.

Ronni Bennett of Time Goes By blog is moving to Portland, Oregon as soon as she sells her home in Maine. She has a cat with a mind of his own,as most cats do, and she writes about some of "Oliver's attempts to sabotage the move. Here is a comment by a reader of her blog

"Poor Ollie; he knows something is up. You are not obeying him and he is going to show you who is boss, by trying to sabotage the move."

This reminded me of my week. We are keeping our daughter's cute little five year old Havanese doggie and also the cat while she and her family are on spring break from school.

Buddy, our 8 month old cavalier puppy seems to get along fine with Bella, the guest dog, but he is definetly not enchanted with having his spot as "only dog" usurped this week.

This is what Buddy, who is normally well behaved, has done in the last few days:

Peed on MY BED. right on trhe side where I sleep. Had to wash the blanket sheets and bed pad.

Pooped twice in the dining room
Pooped in living room

Dragged nice pillows off living room sofa and started chewing on them (I caught him just in time so no damage.)

Started to chew up door mat at front door.

There were other instances but I have a mental block and that is all I could remember.

Wish us luck as we count the days until Sunday.

(Buddy says Amen to that.)

This and that

We just got back from the nearby Whole Foods. Bought my grown daughter a lovely purple orchid, The kind that has the long curving stem and lots of smallish blooms. Tomorrow is her birthday so we will take it over to her then and wish her a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

While at Whole Foods we got a quiche for supper. Turkey and cheese. Their quich are good and enough for two meals. That with a mixed salad we created while there sehould make a yummy meal.

Oh Yes. The apple/walnut crumble pie (very small slice of course) will complete the meal with iced tea.

I don't do Whole Foods often but it is a nice treat. Not cooking is always good.

Buddy and I are relaxing on the computer. Buddy sleeping on the twin bed nearby. Mr C is out golfing with son in law and 13 year old grandson. Grandson just got a new set of big guy clubs and he is hitting the ball like a pro. Right down the middle and 200 yards.

BTW grandson had to buy a new golf hat. He is so disgusted with Tiger Woods that he has tossed his TW golf cap way up in the attic.

Have a good weekend.

Relax to this

You tube music video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVTi7g5MQyI


Click on post title to link to music video.

Party Time

Buddy went to his "first" birthday party today at the dog park in our townhouse community. Mr C took him as I am still recovering from my minor surgery. One of the gals here has a Cavalier spaniel who just turned 4. She has no children, and is about 38 years old and unmarried so this was a fun time for her.

They had doggie birthday cake and treats and about 6 dogs attended with their owners. A tiny terrier tried to beat up on Buddy. Buddy is a lover not a fighter so he hid under Mr C's bench.

A 5 year old little boy got bitten slightlyon the face by another small dog.

Buddy came home after about an hour dragging and whipped.

He had fun but he has decided this is his last birthday party. Too many rowdy dogs.

Buddy is definitely NOT a PARTY ANIMAL...:)